Finding Strength by Michelle Shevawn

Author:Michelle, Shevawn [Michelle, Shevawn]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, azw3
Published: 2015-10-15T07:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty-Two

September 2nd, 2008

The next week rolled on and soon it was Friday. Amy and Shane are doing their weekend cookout, which happens to also be Labor Day weekend, and so here I stand in Amy’s kitchen helping prepare homemade macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes and a salad to go with the ribs that Shane has on the grill. The smell floating in from outside has my stomach growling but there is also a fluttering there that the food is definitely not causing. Zak was supposed to be here an hour ago but he called Shane saying he was going to be late.

My mind is working overtime conjuring up all the reasons and excuses that one could make for being late, or not showing up at all, and it’s driving me crazy. Apparently too crazy.

“Are you going to chop the lettuce to the point that it no longer needs chewed?” Amy ask, a smirk playing at the corners of her lips.

“Sorry, guess I got lost in my thoughts.”

“Oh yeah? And would those thoughts have anything to do with a sandy-haired, very nicely sculpted man?”

“Maybe,” I said, although with the thoughts currently spinning a web in my head, there was no room for a smile.

“Okay, Anna, spill it. What’s wrong?” Amy ask me, cocking her hip against the counter while she crosses her arms over her chest and pins me with a knowing stare.

“I’m just worried. Now that I have decided to maybe give this a go, what if this isn’t what he wants? What if he doesn’t even come over? What if there’s someone else that is making him late? What if,” Amy stops my rambling, her hands brace my shoulders turning me to face her.

“Stop it. Don’t get carried away. You’re worrying for nothing.”

“How do you know that? You know what, never mind, it’s okay. I’m just being paranoid.”

“Yes you are. Now, let’s finish getting this dinner ready. I’m starved.”

The potatoes are peeled and in the bowl ready to be mashed, I glance into the living room to check on Braxton and Allie who are still happily entertained by the minions. I take a seat on a stool at the kitchen island as Amy gets the macaroni and cheese out of the oven, sets it on the counter next to me and then goes about mashing the potatoes. Zak still hasn’t made it and I’m trying desperately to keep the pessimistic thoughts away. On some level, I’m excited about the prospect of this friendship progressing with Zak, as in dating him, and that scares me.

I know I still have hurdles to jump and a mountain or two to climb to completely be at ease with the guilt that tries to overtake me at times. Well, let’s face it, not at ease, because who is ever at ease with a guilty conscience? It’s a learning curve to me, trying to get my heart to understand that it’s okay to open up. It’s even harder when my mind won’t shut up

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